Ordinary people can have extraordinary awakenings. In this candid video, I explain why I've been secretive about my spiritual awakening experiences, a topic often considered, within Zen circles, uncouth to discuss.
Recent exchanges have prompted me to reconsider this stance, leading to an honest account of an early 'kensho' breakthrough awakening experience - one that transformed everything for me. I discuss the reality of a nondual awakening experience and why many are put off from telling their truth. I want to share this now as I feel direct knowing of nonduality improves our everyday life, elevating connection and happiness. This offers a grounded perspective on enlightenment.
What’s Behind My Secret Non-Dual Awakening Story? | Kensho, Zen & Direct Experience
Why do people so often hide their non-dual awakening experiences?
In this deeply personal video, I share — for the first time — an early kensho (awakening) experience that radically transformed how reality was known and lived. Not as something mystical or rare, but as something utterly ordinary and universally available.
For years I’ve been quiet about these moments — not out of embarrassment, but out of care, discernment, and a real concern about “Zen stink”: the subtle trap of turning awakening into a personal achievement or spiritual identity. I share the Zen story (glass of milk) around 'The stink of Zen' from Zen Master Daizan Roshi of Zenways.
In this conversation we explore:
Why awakening experiences can feel unspeakable and isolating. Yet why entry into the 'Gateless Gate' is available to ordinary people. And why it is helpful to hear the awakening experiences of ordinary people.
What kensho and satori really point to in Zen and nonduality
The danger of spiritual materialism and “collecting experiences”
Why awakening is impersonal — and not about becoming special.
How integration into everyday, dualistic life can be the real challenge
Why sharing (carefully, honestly) can help others recognise what’s possible.
I also share a vivid direct-experience story — involving a Zen koan, a fox, the moon… and the moment my head quite literally fell off. (It sounds bonkers. It kind of is. And yet it was the safest, clearest knowing imaginable.)
This video is for you if:
You’re curious about nonduality or Zen beyond concepts
You’ve had an awakening experience and don’t quite know how to place it
You sense something true is already here — but can’t yet articulate it
You want grounded, human conversations about awakening, not spiritual posturing
I’m inspired here by teachers like Henry Shuckman, and by the openness encouraged in conversations such as his interview with Simon Mundie, where awakening is discussed as something available to ordinary people — not just monks in caves.
We also touch on the “four-minute mile effect”, referencing Roger Bannister — how once something is known to be possible, it suddenly becomes possible for many.
Awakening doesn’t always arrive with fireworks.
Often it’s subtle. Gentle. Quiet.
A sip of soup.
The hum of air conditioning stopping.
And yet — when you know, you know.
